"Every week our prophetic prayer ministry listens for what God might be trying to tell us this week". That sentence alone could probably make me more uncomfortable than anything on earth if for some reason my dad was sitting next to me in Church. I can just imagine the thought, "Wow, this has really been a great service" straight to "Wow, these people are crazy". Maybe I dont give him enough credit or maybe I know that he's just like me and thats exactly what I thought the first 50 times I heard them say it. And, if that wasnt enough the messages themselves will certainly seal the deal. Lately it seems like there has been a lot of wildlife messages including some serious words about marine life.
Let me start off by saying I am pretty cynical on the topic. Its funny because I really love Christ and I have seen the Holy Spirit at work in my life and other people's but I have a wall up that is very strong against anything that might be less than authentic. Does that make me judgmental? At times, Im sure. But whats more than that is the fact that I could be missing out on what the Lord has in store for me and the way that maybe He wants to speak to me in a new way.
I remember a Saturday morning in the fall of last year. For whatever reason everyone that I knew was busy so I packed the truck and headed out to Folly Beach by myself to surf a very large storm swell from an approaching tropical storm. As I parked at 9th ave and stepped on to the boardwalk I could clearly see that it would be a challenging day to surf for anyone but especially someone trying to get through the break on a longboard. After watching it for a while I decided I wouldnt paddle out and a very weird feeling came over me of defeat and it was much heavier than it should have been. That was the first time in at least a decade that I had decided not to go.
After ditching the surfboard I grabbed my fly rod and went out to a saltwater flat by myself to fish the tide for tailing redfish. For the next two hours I waded that flat with the feeling of defeat on my shoulders only in part because of the surf but more due to the weight of where I had come with Palmetto Medical. I was at a point where I was stepping away from Prison Fellowship and had just gone through a year of trying to juggle two full time jobs without a break. As a result of being burnt out I began to entertain feelings of potential failure, discouragement and I think that I was just internalizing things to a degree that I felt alone relative to the organization. I felt like it was imminent that we would lose support or that people would see my position in the organization as unnecessary or our numbers just werent where they should be. All that I know is that for two hours I wrestled with my thoughts and my faith.
The next morning I showed up to St. Andrews and went through a fairly routine service
and we eventually found our way to the weekly messages from God. There were a couple messages that went through and then I heard "For a man who went to the beach and stared at the waves but wouldnt go out. The Lord is here for you and wants to minister to you in your time of being overwhelmed".
It really didnt matter how much I tried to rationalize it, I knew that the Lord had given that message for me in a time where trying to reassure myself in his plan and purpose just simply wasnt providing me peace. Did He need to do that? No. But it was so comforting to know that in the midst of my struggle that He saw me there and was walking through it with me.
This is the thing I think I am working through most right now in my relationship with Christ. How can I move beyond or outside of the way that I perceive Christ and the Father for who they truly are. How do I move to a point of comfort with the Holy Spirit to where I dont demand control over the situation and simply trust in the way that He moves. Not only that, how do I go from getting a taste of what He has to offer to living into that every day and experiencing a state of truly being Spirit filled and led?
I know that its going to take a conscious decision from me and at times it seems like the gravity or magnitude of that decision is daunting to me. I hold so tightly to my control. I have no problem with being obedient to the Lord's direction in my life and pursuing and "doing" the things I feel led to do but I struggle in the relationship and I struggle in the vulnerability.
I wish that I could start my relationship with Christ in a completely new way. A way where I didnt carry so much religious baggage with me that has taught me to understand things a certain way. I wish that I could see things the way that Christ intended for me to see, understand and experience them. The process of undoing and erasing years of other people's perceptions and thoughts is tiring but I know its worth the process.
At the end of the day the Holy Spirit pretty much scares the crap out of me. But, I definitely want and know I need to fully embrace the power that is there. Pray for me.
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Monday, August 9, 2010
Meeting Behavior Guidelines
My life consists of meetings. Since I work out of the house I am constantly going somewhere in town to meet with folks on topics ranging from Palmetto Medical Initiative to relationship committment issues (no one in particular here) to new business ideas. Yesterday I found myself in a meeting that defied my imagination of just how bad a meeting could get. As a result I would like to provide a handy list of reminders for other people who may not be quite as experienced in the art of a successful meeting. Here's five recommendations to keep in mind.
THE URGE - Just because you have the urge to say something doesnt necessarily mean that you should speak. For some people in a meeting its almost like they need to establish their presence by making a comment. They want you to know who they are and that they have something to say. The only problem is that if you're like me I dont really care what you have to say unless you're the one running the meeting because only the leader has the power to close the meeting which is always what Im looking forward to. If you absolutely must say something please make sure it has not already been covered and that it will benefit the entire group. Otherwise, the fact that you dont understand something isnt really a reason to punish me by making me wait through your processing.
OVERESTIMATING YOUR VALUE - While you may have been invited to a meeting that doesnt mean that anyone necessarily values your opinion on what is being discussed. This is especially true when you werent personally invited - you were just simply a part of a huge group to whom a blanket invitation was given. This kind of reminds me of when someone prices an item way too high on Craigslist and they sincerely believe that someone out there will value their item just as much as they do. The only problem is that it will never sell and you'll be left with your junk at the end of the day. Likewise, just because you have an opinion on the topic doesnt mean that its going to change anything. So please dont be shocked when the entire plan isnt adapted to your wish especially when you are the only person in the room who thinks that way. Using the Craigslist analogy your opinion is your over-valued junk so please take your junk and exit the meeting because nobody would buy it even if it was free.
LET ME TAKE THAT - No. Unless you are the leader of the meeting you should not be volunteering your services due to the risk of further complicating what is probably already a controversial question or issue. If you are the leader and someone says "do you mind if I answer that?" you had better be pretty darn sure that the person knows what they're talking about before you consent. Again, I dont really care if you do know the answer to what has been brought up - guess what, I probably do too. But, Im not going to answer because I didnt call this meeting together.
THE OSCAR - The Oscar goes to the most dramatic person in a meeting that has managed to turn something pretty straightforward into something that makes me want so uncomfortable that I have to close my eyes and go to another place in my mind until I hear the person stop talking. This can be the overly enthusiastic person who has jumped forward 10 steps and ignored all logic and reason in their assessment. Or this can be a person who incredibly overstates the issue at hand to make it seem much more grand than it really is. An example might be something like talking about the kind of people that you would like to invite to a new church you are starting and having someone in the crowd state that those people will "have done satanic rituals, drank blood and sacrificed their children" to illustrate the point that the crowd will likely be unchurched. That kind of comment wins the meeting Oscar for most dramatic performance. It also wins the "What would have caused you to say that" and "Have you ever been to a meeting before" and "Do you talk like that to your friends" awards.
MULTI TASKING - When I worked for Prison Fellowship I was constantly on conference calls. It was like the crack of the organization and no one could get enough. This was okay if there were a maximum of six people on the line but there were times when we would have 60-90 people on the phone if there were a major issue at hand. I hated conference calls but I always looked forward to seeing who would fail to mute their phone during a presentation. Inevitably someone would think their cell phone was muted during a call they should have been paying attention to but in fact they would be at the drive through window at McDonalds placing an order for an iced capuccino. There was also the time when a big decision had been made and was being presented that one of our Regional Directors could be heard (without a muted phone) saying "You've got to be kidding me! You cant do that! Does he think we're all just going to change everything?" To which our SVP responded "ummm...Rod...we can hear you brother". That made me both laugh and also become very nauseous. Here's the point, if you're going to multi-task you had better be pretty cautious.
The list could go on but these are some meeting rules that I try to live by. I hope they provide you some mental checkpoints for your next group setting.
THE URGE - Just because you have the urge to say something doesnt necessarily mean that you should speak. For some people in a meeting its almost like they need to establish their presence by making a comment. They want you to know who they are and that they have something to say. The only problem is that if you're like me I dont really care what you have to say unless you're the one running the meeting because only the leader has the power to close the meeting which is always what Im looking forward to. If you absolutely must say something please make sure it has not already been covered and that it will benefit the entire group. Otherwise, the fact that you dont understand something isnt really a reason to punish me by making me wait through your processing.
OVERESTIMATING YOUR VALUE - While you may have been invited to a meeting that doesnt mean that anyone necessarily values your opinion on what is being discussed. This is especially true when you werent personally invited - you were just simply a part of a huge group to whom a blanket invitation was given. This kind of reminds me of when someone prices an item way too high on Craigslist and they sincerely believe that someone out there will value their item just as much as they do. The only problem is that it will never sell and you'll be left with your junk at the end of the day. Likewise, just because you have an opinion on the topic doesnt mean that its going to change anything. So please dont be shocked when the entire plan isnt adapted to your wish especially when you are the only person in the room who thinks that way. Using the Craigslist analogy your opinion is your over-valued junk so please take your junk and exit the meeting because nobody would buy it even if it was free.
LET ME TAKE THAT - No. Unless you are the leader of the meeting you should not be volunteering your services due to the risk of further complicating what is probably already a controversial question or issue. If you are the leader and someone says "do you mind if I answer that?" you had better be pretty darn sure that the person knows what they're talking about before you consent. Again, I dont really care if you do know the answer to what has been brought up - guess what, I probably do too. But, Im not going to answer because I didnt call this meeting together.
THE OSCAR - The Oscar goes to the most dramatic person in a meeting that has managed to turn something pretty straightforward into something that makes me want so uncomfortable that I have to close my eyes and go to another place in my mind until I hear the person stop talking. This can be the overly enthusiastic person who has jumped forward 10 steps and ignored all logic and reason in their assessment. Or this can be a person who incredibly overstates the issue at hand to make it seem much more grand than it really is. An example might be something like talking about the kind of people that you would like to invite to a new church you are starting and having someone in the crowd state that those people will "have done satanic rituals, drank blood and sacrificed their children" to illustrate the point that the crowd will likely be unchurched. That kind of comment wins the meeting Oscar for most dramatic performance. It also wins the "What would have caused you to say that" and "Have you ever been to a meeting before" and "Do you talk like that to your friends" awards.
MULTI TASKING - When I worked for Prison Fellowship I was constantly on conference calls. It was like the crack of the organization and no one could get enough. This was okay if there were a maximum of six people on the line but there were times when we would have 60-90 people on the phone if there were a major issue at hand. I hated conference calls but I always looked forward to seeing who would fail to mute their phone during a presentation. Inevitably someone would think their cell phone was muted during a call they should have been paying attention to but in fact they would be at the drive through window at McDonalds placing an order for an iced capuccino. There was also the time when a big decision had been made and was being presented that one of our Regional Directors could be heard (without a muted phone) saying "You've got to be kidding me! You cant do that! Does he think we're all just going to change everything?" To which our SVP responded "ummm...Rod...we can hear you brother". That made me both laugh and also become very nauseous. Here's the point, if you're going to multi-task you had better be pretty cautious.
The list could go on but these are some meeting rules that I try to live by. I hope they provide you some mental checkpoints for your next group setting.
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