Meeting Behavior Guidelines

My life consists of meetings. Since I work out of the house I am constantly going somewhere in town to meet with folks on topics ranging from Palmetto Medical Initiative to relationship committment issues (no one in particular here) to new business ideas. Yesterday I found myself in a meeting that defied my imagination of just how bad a meeting could get. As a result I would like to provide a handy list of reminders for other people who may not be quite as experienced in the art of a successful meeting. Here's five recommendations to keep in mind.

THE URGE - Just because you have the urge to say something doesnt necessarily mean that you should speak. For some people in a meeting its almost like they need to establish their presence by making a comment. They want you to know who they are and that they have something to say. The only problem is that if you're like me I dont really care what you have to say unless you're the one running the meeting because only the leader has the power to close the meeting which is always what Im looking forward to. If you absolutely must say something please make sure it has not already been covered and that it will benefit the entire group. Otherwise, the fact that you dont understand something isnt really a reason to punish me by making me wait through your processing.

OVERESTIMATING YOUR VALUE - While you may have been invited to a meeting that doesnt mean that anyone necessarily values your opinion on what is being discussed. This is especially true when you werent personally invited - you were just simply a part of a huge group to whom a blanket invitation was given. This kind of reminds me of when someone prices an item way too high on Craigslist and they sincerely believe that someone out there will value their item just as much as they do. The only problem is that it will never sell and you'll be left with your junk at the end of the day. Likewise, just because you have an opinion on the topic doesnt mean that its going to change anything. So please dont be shocked when the entire plan isnt adapted to your wish especially when you are the only person in the room who thinks that way. Using the Craigslist analogy your opinion is your over-valued junk so please take your junk and exit the meeting because nobody would buy it even if it was free.

LET ME TAKE THAT - No. Unless you are the leader of the meeting you should not be volunteering your services due to the risk of further complicating what is probably already a controversial question or issue. If you are the leader and someone says "do you mind if I answer that?" you had better be pretty darn sure that the person knows what they're talking about before you consent. Again, I dont really care if you do know the answer to what has been brought up - guess what, I probably do too. But, Im not going to answer because I didnt call this meeting together.

THE OSCAR - The Oscar goes to the most dramatic person in a meeting that has managed to turn something pretty straightforward into something that makes me want so uncomfortable that I have to close my eyes and go to another place in my mind until I hear the person stop talking. This can be the overly enthusiastic person who has jumped forward 10 steps and ignored all logic and reason in their assessment. Or this can be a person who incredibly overstates the issue at hand to make it seem much more grand than it really is. An example might be something like talking about the kind of people that you would like to invite to a new church you are starting and having someone in the crowd state that those people will "have done satanic rituals, drank blood and sacrificed their children" to illustrate the point that the crowd will likely be unchurched. That kind of comment wins the meeting Oscar for most dramatic performance. It also wins the "What would have caused you to say that" and "Have you ever been to a meeting before" and "Do you talk like that to your friends" awards.

MULTI TASKING - When I worked for Prison Fellowship I was constantly on conference calls. It was like the crack of the organization and no one could get enough. This was okay if there were a maximum of six people on the line but there were times when we would have 60-90 people on the phone if there were a major issue at hand. I hated conference calls but I always looked forward to seeing who would fail to mute their phone during a presentation. Inevitably someone would think their cell phone was muted during a call they should have been paying attention to but in fact they would be at the drive through window at McDonalds placing an order for an iced capuccino. There was also the time when a big decision had been made and was being presented that one of our Regional Directors could be heard (without a muted phone) saying "You've got to be kidding me! You cant do that! Does he think we're all just going to change everything?" To which our SVP responded "ummm...Rod...we can hear you brother". That made me both laugh and also become very nauseous. Here's the point, if you're going to multi-task you had better be pretty cautious.

The list could go on but these are some meeting rules that I try to live by. I hope they provide you some mental checkpoints for your next group setting.