Where is he hiding?

When you were growing up did it ever cross your mind that there might be a burglar in the house? Did that thought become particularly strong right before you went to sleep? Did you actually check under every bed in the house and in the back of all closets? Ever lay on your back terrified that your parents would go to sleep before you did and that you might be the only one left awake in the house to hear someone trying to break in?

No? Me neither.

Well, actually that did happen once or twice...or every night until I moved to Charlotte in middle school.

If you didnt already know, my dad is a pretty serious guy. He's a very driven business man who has had the same mustache for 35 years (except for the one time he cut it when I was 10 and I thought he looked like a pedophile) and can be serious to the point of dramatic at times. Especially during that time in his life he was pretty uptight, intense, over protective and no-nonsense. Here are a few things that may have contributed to my evening anxiety.

Bedtime Stories
Most kids like to wind down at night with a nice story that makes them think about something calming and peaceful before they go to sleep. I can remember numerous occassions at our home in Richmond, VA when I would have just laid down to go to sleep and my dad would enter the room. "Son, do you know what to do if there is a house fire?" Hmmmm...not really the peaceful story I was hoping for. Then, for twenty minutes we would talk about escape routes all the while my mind thinking more and more about the potential for a house fire. Now, instead of imagining a great, happy story I would be imagining heat, smoke, me by myself escaping through the window not knowing if anyone was still alive.

At some point dad would feel satisfied that we had a good plan together and he would head back downstairs to watch tv with my mom. And I would be there wondering when the fire would start. Those thoughts are not really conducive to falling asleep.

I'll never forget one Sunday morning before church I heard the fire alarm go off and I went into full panic mode...I MEAN FULL PANIC MODE. My mom had somehow burnt all the bacon in the oven and I was worried the whole kitchen was going to catch on fire. I think I got really mad at her and it took all morning to calm back down.

THE SHADOW
Some nights I would be fortunate enough to actually fall asleep and be in the midst of waiting for it to get light outside again. Because, of course, burglars dont ever break in during daylight - its strictly a night time thing.

Sometimes I would be laying there dead asleep and I would start to get the feeling that someone was watching me. You know that sense that there is someone else close? I would think in my mind "Matt, there's no one there dont be ridiculous!" And then, I would open my eyes only to discover that in the darkness and middle of the night there actually was someone standing in the doorway looking at me. His name? David Alexander aka THE SHADOW.

I mean there were literally no lights on in the whole house and there is just someone standing in the doorway looking at you!!

Me: Hey dad. What are you doing?
DA: Just making sure you're still breathing.
Me: I am.
DA: Love you.
Me: Love you too.

Really? Did you think I was dead? Good gosh. Then it was time to try to fall asleep all over again. Only this time I was going to be the only one awake again left with thoughts of housefires, burglars and the occasional thought of a tornado which I was also terrified of...and scary movies like Gremlins...yes Gremlins.

This also didnt help much with trying to rationalize my fear. "There's no one there!" Wait, dont you remember last night?

The Locks
On the nights when I had trouble falling asleep I would hear the tv shut off downstairs and the procession towards to the stairs. Mom would go ahead and come up the stairs and then I would hear dad lock 135 doors in the house. The only problem was that there were only 3 doors which contained locks. So, each lock would get the repeat treatment.

I think that the locks may have been where I developed the burglar mentality. The logic goes something like this:

Checking a door 50 times to make sure its locked means that there are serious consequences if that door remains unlocked.

If you leave a door unlocked someone will come into the house.

There is probably already someone in the house.

There is someone in the house.

I have to prove there is no one in the house by checking all possible hiding places.

In case you're wondering, yes, I did become a tad bit OCD at one point. By the grace of God I was able to put that to rest in college but by that time I was a chronic door locker myself. I must admit that I still give each door at least 2 checks before I go to sleep.

My dad and I have pretty similar personalities so its funny to look back at it now and know exactly why all of those things happened. Its all part of that personality makeup and an intense love and desire to be a protector for the family. But, it definitely has left me with some now funny memories.

Pray for the person who ever decides to break into my house because I have been anticipating their arrival for 28 years and I will be prepared.