Africa I

My experience with Africa has been an interesting one as Im sure it has been for most everyone who has had the opportunity to spend time there. In my opinion there is nothing that you can do that will prepare you for what you will experience on that continent. Your first time stepping off the plane and being thrust into the landscape and culture is one of the most foreign feelings that I can imagine.

As I sat in the house last night I was reminded through a documentary on HBO of what a fragile place Africa is. I was reminded that though I have become somewhat comfortable in Uganda, the surrounding countries are still filled with murder, rape and corruption on every level. Africa can become overwhelming to the mind in seconds and can feel like 100 million pounds on your back. I really believe this is why so many people start with a great hope for things to change and end up tired, frustrated and out of compassion.

My relationship with Africa began in college. I'll never forget the morning before school that my dad called around 7:30 am. My dad is a lifelong businessman and I can definitely attribute some of my seriousness to him...but he can also be so serious that you feel like you're in a board meeting when he calls to check in. Anyway, he calls and says "Son, I wanted to let you know that your mom and I are thinking about adopting two boys from Africa. They were at our church last night with a group of other orphan boys and your mom and I think we might move forward with this." Me - "Sounds great, let me know what happens." In my head I thought this was another one of dad's big dramatic things that he announces with no emotion which makes it even more dramatic.

Next day. Another phone call from dad. "Son, your mom and I are moving forward with the paperwork to adopt these two boys." Me - "Really? Wow. Ummm...who are they again? Where are they from? Are they black? Ok. Let me know how it goes." What the day before had felt like a total joke now seemed to have the potential to change my family and the way things had been my entire life. I knew next to nothing about Africa. I had not even seen a picture of these kids. I had no warning. It just happened.

I can remember one thing that went through my head was every racist comment or joke someone had made in the last ten years. I could pick out every friend who had a racist leaning and none of it was okay any more. I knew at that moment there were going to be a lot of things that would not be quite so easy any more.

I can remember the first time I met David and Seeboe. They were both tiny. They were so thin that they really looked to be 8 years old though they were 12 and 13. I couldnt understand much of what they were saying but they smiled a lot and gave Josh and I hugs. That first night together we went out to dinner and all they wanted to listen to on the radio was country music. We were still struggling through the whole communication thing but they clearly wanted us to stop on every country station...a far cry from what they're listening to these days.

Then came a bunch of firsts. Thanksgiving, Christmas, Fox News, Readers Digest, Oprah Magazine etc. It was interesting watching it all unfold and being somewhat close to it all but still somewhat at a distance since I was in Charleston.

One of the things that my dad started to do with the boys every night was pray with them and for them. As the boys started communicating better and opening up it became clear that they still had orphaned brothers and sisters in Liberia. I know that their hearts were filled with sadness for them and it showed in the way that they prayed and cried at the thought of it.

So, my dad being a group guy just decided to adopt the rest of them. He and I are alike in that regard. When it comes to big things sometimes you cant think about it too much and you just have to go for it. Otherwise, you are bound to talk yourself out of it. I mean who adopts six kids from West Africa? It didnt make sense but thats ok because once the committment is there you wont see any backing down.

Back to phone calls from Dad. The next call that I got was another doozie. "Son, I want you to go to Liberia with me to meet the kids and get their paperwork started." Me - "Mmm let me see what that looks like with classes". The truth is that I had absolutely no intention of going on that trip. It scared me to think about and I had no interest in traveling to Africa. Honestly, I dont really think my dad did either but he was so determined to expedite the process that this was the only way he could really think of.

Long story short I decided to go. Liberia was just weeks out of the ceasefire from a 20 year civil war and we knew it was going to be tough. What my dad would tell me half way through the trip is "Son, I didnt want to say anything leading up to the trip but I have been having nightmares for the past two months that the rebels would capture me, cut off my arms and legs and hold me hostage". Awesome. Thanks dad.

I thought I was prepared for the trip. I thought that my time in 3rd world countries in Central America and other places around the world would prepare me. I thought I had some idea about what I was getting into. I didnt.